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Friday, April 4, 2008

I < 3 Yellow Cleaning Gloves

You know the ones.

Playtex brand yellow cleaning gloves. Let's be honest now. They make your hands smell like poo rubber, especially after you've worn them for about two bajillion hours straight.

Why would I have worn them so long? Because I like the way they make me look. Actually, I feel like a better person when I wear them. No, that's not it either. I cleaned the whole kitchen last night.

It was tons 'o fun scrubbing the counters to get rid of tiny dripped coffee stains. Not. How much do I despise cream colored Formica counters? Probably more than watching political debates on TV. Okay, that's not true either. Those pout fests are like pouring lemon juice onto a paper cut. Wheee, fun.

The amount of deep cleaning I did in the kitchen alone, would make many people think I was "nesting".

I. am. so. not. prego.

Nope. Nada. Sorry to burst your happy little bubble of hope.
Trust me, I'll let you know when I know. And I'll be the first to know. Seriously.

I have this real in depth, relationship going on with my yellow kitchen gloves. We are in luuve. So much so, you'd think I would have named them Betty Sue, or Daisy Mae by now. I don't know what a good name for gloves would be, so don't ask. Maybe I should talk to a few guys. The same one's who have named their cars. I'm pretty sure I've known a few.

We (yellow and I) were cleaning the sink, soaking the stove burner grates, singing songs, wiping down the fridge, cleaning the window ledge, and gazing into each others eyes. Until I finished and took them off. The end.

Actually I took them off to let my poor hands breathe for a while.

Oh the stink. Nothing says, purty hands like that rubbery scent.
The relationship was over. Finito.

"I'm sorry yellow gloves. It's not you, it's me."

Really, I don't want to smell like rubber and powder. That's fine if you do. It's. just. not. my. thing. I bet they would have cried if they could.

"I promise I'll be back soon." "No I'm not cheating on you with the yellow gloves in the bathroom." "They mean nothing to me", I halfway fibbed.

Honestly, between you and I, the yellow bathroom gloves mean the. world. to. me.

Without them I'd be up a creek. Heh. Miserable and horrified. Oh the places they've been. The things they've seen. Lawsie mercy! Eww.

Trying to clean the toilet sans my dear yellow friends, is something I'd rather not try. What? You have a man in the house too? *sigh* You understand me, you really do!

That tale will be for another time. Probably soon, as the shower, toilet, and sink all need a good cleaning.

4 thoughtful comments:

glee said...

You are a hoot!

I'm so tired and you make me laugh anyway!



Hol&J said...

@glee - Glad I made you laugh. Hope I can do it again!

Burcham Family said...

You crack me up! Too funny!

Anonymous said...

Pretty good post. I just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that I have really enjoyed reading your blog posts

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