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Friday, October 10, 2008

Age is Like Burnt Popcorn

My sweet cousin Ky is experiencing the joys of college life and living in a dorm. I still can't believe she's a freshman. That makes me feel a little old, but it isn't her fault. I must face reality and then slap it around a little. Either that, or just start telling people I'm 2 years younger than I really am. That way when I hit 40, I can pretend that I'm 38. Bwaaa haa ha! No one will know the differnce. See how that works?

Oh, it doesn't work?

Really? You've tried?


Life in a dorm with lots of other girls can be fun, challenging, and tiresome. Oh yes I remember all too well. Ky is finding this out as she describes in her post about late night um, early morning fire drill #5. Five. Five my dear internets! Except this "drill" was more like an accident. An accident that to me sounds very much like the previous fire drill #4.

It may seem similar because it was another fire drill. Oh yes, I can see where your little mind is going. The gears are turning.

"Hello Hol. A fire drill is just like the fire drill before it, and the one before it." (Minus the insignificant details.)

No, there is more involved I tell you. Plus the letter F and number of the day 4. Fire drill four (4) was brought on from an ill prepared midnight snack. A snack of the popcorn sort. Ah yes burnt popcorn that makes your eyes water and assaults your nostrils with it's stench. Haven't we all been victims of the dreaded "office popcorn" at one point in our lives?

The smoke must have set off an alarm in one room, and then from there like dominoes, the rest followed. Even if it was just one lone alarm, it did it's job and prompted an exodus of grand proportions. One girl was even caught in the middle of a shower. I think there is an unwritten law. Like Murphy's Law. If there is a fire drill in a dorm, at least one person (especially one of the female persuasion) will be in the shower and have to exit wearing a robe or towel. It happened to one or two girls in my freshman dorm. Now, this poor girl had that very thing happen, again (the 1st time was from fire drill #3). She put on a robe and walked outside with the rest of the popcorn victims.

Fire popcorn drill number five was almost identical. Ahh a snack would be good. I know, popcorn! ~ burn ~ smoke ~ alarm! Either that was what happened, or someone unsuccessfully was trying to be funny and they pulled the alarm. This time around though? It was at 2:44 AM instead of midnight. So much more fun don't you think? I doubt Ky and others thought that when they were startled awake.

So after reading Ky's posts, I came up with an idea. Knowing that if I was still in college and in a dorm, our "dorm mother" or whoever was in charge would have had a mandatory meeting with everyone. There would be no question about it.

Yes, let's teach the finer points of microwave use and how to make popcorn:

  1. Each microwave is different from another. Some cook hotter, others cook faster. *Didn't you know? They all have very unique personalities.*

  2. Popcorn MUST be watched/listened to at all times when cooking. *Seriously, does it talk like Rice Krispies do? We better start listening I guess.*

  3. The [popcorn] button/setting on microwaves rarely gets it right. *I think microwaves get a kick out of burning popcorn. It's like their twisted little game.*

  4. If you (insert name of offender here) must fix popcorn at all hours, please don't burn it. *For all that is good and holy, please don't burn any more popcorn.*

Granted, this would prove to be rather difficult with so many people in one single dorm. Can microwaves inside rooms be regulated? I don't think it's logically or reasonably possible.

It's best to find something funny about it, since this probably isn't the last time the fire alarms will go off from a burnt snack. Popcorn, macaroni, Rice Krispie treats = marshmallows melted cooked to the point of hard crack, etc.

I guess age can be like burnt popcorn. If you let the smoke and smell (years and wrinkles) bother you, it will choke and overpower. But if you smile and find some humor to it, everything goes a lot more smoothly. Enjoy life and the little things, then you can embrace getting older, and age gracefully. People won't really see your age or a number.

They just see you.

Maybe a bit wrinkled, but at least they won't toss you aside like burnt popcorn.

3 thoughtful comments:

Laura said...

Awesome post! I'm not exactly sure what's causing all the fire drills—we never hear exactly—but I doubt any of them have been planned. Except maybe the first one, which was at 7 PM when I didn't happen to be around.

Maybe I should mention this on my blog, but I live in the Slusher Complex, which has a "wing" that is four floors high (with the first floor being just a crawl space or something; you enter on the second floor) (my part) connected to a "tower" that is twelve floors high. Both have elevators, but during fire drills, all the poor people in Slusher Tower get some great exercise. I'm only on floor 4 of the wing, so it isn't so bad for me. But the worst thing is that the entire slusher complex is connected, so if the fire alarm goes off, it goes off in both the tower and the wing. Everyone has to pile out. For burnt popcorn, pranksters, or whatever.

But seriously, I doubt the people who organize college dorm fire drills have much work after the first drill. The drills just happen.

Ann(ie) said...

THANK YOU!!! Watch your popcorn people! I got the pleasure of that lovely smell today in the office. =/

glee said...

I think I actually smelled popcorn just from your description. *HATE* the smell of popcorn. Call me un-American, fine. I hate that smell. Probably because I've smelled it too often.

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